Janurary 18th, 2007

As I stand there looking at you, my heart drops.
I think of you and turn away, I hate you.
I wish there is more to it, but there isn't.
Flipping the bird in my mind, as I continue to smile.
Fuck off, buddy, fuck off...
But only the thought lingers.
So I close my eyes and scream in my mind.
Images of me pulling my hair, screaming, crying and then losing all control...
I drop down and whimper because all I can do in the end is just accept it...
Knowing it is better to be left alone then to break it, but, but, but...
But all I wanted to do was just take my gun and shoot it.
Bang, bang, you shot me down.
Bang, bang, I hit the ground.
Bang, bang, my mind had just shut down.
Bang, bang, there is a pound...
A pound of pain...
A pound of sorrow,
I hit the floor and there I am stranded naked...
But no one is here to see, only the feeling of breeze and emptiness.
I close my eyes and I fall six feet deep.
I lay still.
I stop.
I stop.
I stop.
Dead.

Written Jan. 18th, 2008
Nani May