Love Is Said To Be One Pleasure And...

As I heard in this movie

"My boyfriend is type B"


"Love is said to be one pleasure and a thousand sufferings. I've chosen to free myself from a thousand sufferings, rather than enjoying one pleasure."

Jan 22nd, 2008

Karma came back to him.
Karma came to me sooner though.

But I am happy how everything turned out.
Because I realize how wonderful this world is.

Got an 80% on my exam.
But how can I keep it at that average?
Oh well...
Study hard!!!


My work place isn't inspiring me to advance.
When I first worked there the prep-work was hard.
It took us all till 2:00am to sort of finish.
At least good pay.
But now both jobs aren't inspiring me to do more.

I MISS YOU AARON!!!!
You were like my brother that I constantly try to beat...
Sigh, now work is just plain boring...
But anyways, if you're reading this...
Everyone finished on a MONDAY at 1:30am,
Including INCOMING REJ and OUTGOING REJ.
All the QUALIFIES were done by 1:20am.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??
But then again I was sent to do "Amy's" job.
HAHAHA
I honestly like it in the sorter room where I can beat Amy at her job...
Aaron... Where are you now?
Haha when are we going to eat?
oh wellz...




PS. The post

Take The Gun...
I wrote it around 5am...
It is AK-47 not 41... I realized after my friends pointed it out for me.

Take The Gun

I wanted to pull my gun out.
I wanted to pull it out one last time.
But it's funny how we never pull it out,
Maybe there wouldn't be so much bullshit in here if we did.
Or if someone did.
There's the AK-41's
There's the Riffles
There's the Pistols
Yet none has ceased to fire.
So I take out my home made gun...
I filled it up with the shit the other guns gave me...
Then I shoot those gun holders one by one.
I'm not good at it, but it's good practice.
Maybe I am cocky,
Maybe I am bitchy.
But all I really wanted to do was pull my gun out and shoot it.
Shoot it like a shooting star.
Bang.
1 down and many millions more to go.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
3 down.
And still a lot to go...
When would someone that is as cocky as me pulls its' gun out.
Cocky like me...
All "its" wanted to do was shoot "its" gun.
HA HA HA HA
Bang, bang, bang, bang.
And I still have trillions to go...
Such sweet agony.
Such sweet bullshit too.


I remember back in the days,
People used to tell me.
"When the gun fire goes, and everyone is scared... People will eat shit if they had to... Just so they can survive..."
Maybe shit is good for us...
Maybe I should too just sit there holding the gun...
Maybe buying a good one instead of randomly making one and pretending I'm shooting...
Or maybe I am shooting but it's just missing some "bam"



Now I bought myself a Sniper.
I cock it and aim.
"Poew"
And the blood rushes within me.
I smile.

"Poew"
I heard another one go.
I turn and saw another.
So I cock my gun again and "Poew"
Then I yelled out!
"Buddy, I got 2"
"Poew"
"Hey girl, I got 3 at once!"
I'm addicted to you...

------------------------------------------------------

Written on Jan 21st, 2008
Nani May

Janurary 20th, 2008

My mind is filled with thoughts of life.
There is so much I wish to not say, and yet so much I wish I did say.
I hear many voices. But none of them are mine, or even mine for the taking.
Flushed away with thoguhts.
Brought back by emotions.
Somehow I lost the art of crying.
All I do is smile.
I miss you.
I miss myself.
I miss everything.
But I hate you.
And I hate myself.
And I hate everything surrounding me.
I wish to be lonely.
Yet the feeling is of emptiness and yearning.
I wish to be a part of you.
Yet the feeling of cluster and confusion arise.
The Ying becomes the Yang and then again.
I hate this repitition, yet this is all that I know of.
So what is it that I hate?
What is it that I love?
What is it that i'm feeling?
Or, is it just nothing?
Always in love with you.


Nani May.

Written on Jan 20th, 2008.

Funny Horoscope On Friendster

Jan 19th, 2008

The Bottom Line

Put a hot romance on the back burner today. Remind them you're worth waiting for.


In Detail

There is a lot of potential for hot romance right now, but you should go against expectations and just let things cool off a bit. Put this cutie on the back burner and just keep them simmering for a while. You will be quite pleased with the results. Keeping a person waiting can be a great way to remind them that you are worth waiting for. This will be an entertaining day full of many victories and a renewed sense of confidence. You're ready for a bigger challenge.

Unspoken

He did it first, and she then followed.
He said it first, and she then said it too.
He stopped later, and she continued.
He told her it is childish.
She was lashed.
She continued.
He ignored her.
She stopped saying it too.
But he didn’t notice.
She was saddened.
He didn’t know.
She was intoxicated.
He didn’t know.
She finally said it.
He gave a sigh.
Maybe he was disappointed.
Maybe he wasn’t.
The last words she thought she heard before she drifted,
“Goodnight. Love you. Bye Bye.”

Written on September 24th, 2006

Disturbed By An Email

I am very much disturbed by an email I got from an very old acquaintance. HE REALLY FREAKED ME OUT~~~

So censored for your Protection...
I have never known anyone sooo pathetic,
please bare with me...

I first thought it was really funny until i saw the last 2 photos...

Janurary 18th, 2007

As I stand there looking at you, my heart drops.
I think of you and turn away, I hate you.
I wish there is more to it, but there isn't.
Flipping the bird in my mind, as I continue to smile.
Fuck off, buddy, fuck off...
But only the thought lingers.
So I close my eyes and scream in my mind.
Images of me pulling my hair, screaming, crying and then losing all control...
I drop down and whimper because all I can do in the end is just accept it...
Knowing it is better to be left alone then to break it, but, but, but...
But all I wanted to do was just take my gun and shoot it.
Bang, bang, you shot me down.
Bang, bang, I hit the ground.
Bang, bang, my mind had just shut down.
Bang, bang, there is a pound...
A pound of pain...
A pound of sorrow,
I hit the floor and there I am stranded naked...
But no one is here to see, only the feeling of breeze and emptiness.
I close my eyes and I fall six feet deep.
I lay still.
I stop.
I stop.
I stop.
Dead.

Written Jan. 18th, 2008
Nani May

Leng, Leng, Leng... Smiling...

I saw you once, on top of me.
I saw your smile, inspiring me.
I thought it was cute, and it made me smile too.
I thought it was sweet, those dimple or two.

Glasses, and smiles... reminding me of sugar and sweets.
The ringing of your call makes me melt as it displays 06...

Baby, smile for me...
Cause the way I feel...
uh hum...
I should stop...
I should leave it alone...
Temptation of a princess...
Smile for me again...
I long to see the skin...
I long to see those indentations of love from your smile...

Leng,
Leng....
Leng?
Please smile for me...
Cause i'm smiling...

Baby Photos

Feeling You.

When you stand beside me.
When you breathe beside me.
Heaven falls down and gives me a hug.

When you hold my hand.
When you look at me.
The ice breaks and mountains move.

When you use your senses on me.
When you use your feelings on me.
The grass is greener on the other side.

When you smile.
When you speak.
Time stops.

I need you beside me as you could feel.
I need you to be with me and grow with our feelings...
Cause feelings is all we have.
Cause these feelings we call love.
Don't we need each other?
Don't we cry together?

I love you girl
And I love you boy

Rain? Snow?

Rain, Rain, go away...
Please come again another day...

Snow, Snow, melt away...
Please leave me when my loves' away...

Rain is when we lose in our love...
Snow is when we freeze our feelings...

Rain is when everything will be cleansed and be gone...
Snow is when everything you yearn for is frozen and you want to melt it...

Rain?
Snow?

I pick Snow.

Faithful?

Once when we soar through the sky,

From our hearts.

Once when we didn't know when to lose,

From our hearts.

Once when we loved for no reason(s),

From out hearts.

Once when didn't know better,

From our hearts.

Once when the world was a safe place,

In our hearts.

Once when we cried and everything went away,

In our hearts.

Once when there was protection,

In our hearts.

Once when we lived for being happy,

In our hearts.

We lived, loved, but...

We run, hide, but...

We trap, sigh, but...

We lose faithfulness...

Written on Sept 20th, 2007

What I Want To Do To You

Standing near the doorway, I wait for him to return.

Unlocking of the door, I wait.

I see him and I smile.

"Honey, welcome home."

He smiles back at me.

A rush goes through me.

I walk towards him helping him with his coat.

"Darling..." and I kiss him on the lips.

"How was your day?"

He smiles and replies that everything is great.

"I made you food. But what would you like afterwards?"

We exchange looks and smile some more.

We had ice cream.

----------------------------------

Laying in bed, I see he is tired.

"Sweetie, turn around."

He turns.

I climb onto his back and gives him a massage.

Comforting him is the main goal.

He falls asleep.

I smile.

I sleep.

Written on Sept 24th, 2007

Story of Ella

She open her window. The morning air sweeps across her face.

She smiles and the tears fall.

Memories cross her mind. Stepping out and her shadow tints the glass.

Her hand grasp the rest of the balcony.

She look downwards and sees nothing.

20 storeys high and she couldn't see.

She look upwards and sees nothing.

The clouds fills the sky with a soft cotton white.

Ella smiles again.

Breathes in and then lifts her arm and holds onto the rest, push...

And she jump.

The sky and the ground is nothing.

She falls.

She turns.

Wrapping herself in the cotton.

Feeling of deliverance arises.

She breathes deeply inwards.

She lets out a sigh.

She smiles.

That is the last smile.

As the ground welcome her to her sanctuary.

Thick red velvet runs from her.

She loves once again.

Written on Sept . 26th, 2007

Sleeping Beside You.

When I think of sleeping beside you,

I feel as if my world would melt and shape.

When I think of sleeping beside you,

I would feel as if the world belong to us.

We could be kings and queens.

Living a life of luxury...

Dreaming, smiling, and entertaining

Sleeping beside you...

How exactly would it really feel?

Where are you now when I need you?

Where is my heaven sent?

Sleeping beside you...

I know one day it'll happen.

Written on October 11th, 2007